The Giving Tree and Me

My son and I filled 6 bags of leaves while raking today at our new house. I was aware of the fact that we had a tree on our front lawn from the get go but it wasn't until her green leaves began to turn orange that I started to really pay attention to her. I have been admiring our front yard beauty for a couple of weeks now.   She has been standing tall and showing off for us ever since.
  I made sure to take some time everyday to stop and look and appreciate our little tree as her muted orange leaves changed into beautiful vibrant red. As the sun shone a little less brightly, our tree seemed to be on fire.  
  When we began our two hour chore I caught myself thinking, how can such a gorgeous tree make such a big mess!  But as we raked and bagged, we laughed and talked and took pictures in her fallen leaves. We created memories. I raked away lost in the task thinking sadly, we are sweeping all of her bounty into brown bags. I soon came to the realization that her bounty was not scattered on the ground. Her bounty was hidden entangled underground.
  I learned many things today from what began as a measly task. Much like a tree, humans also must change throughout the year. What a wonderful lesson. Just as seasons change so must we. And as our beautiful ever changing tree discarded her colourful leaves, she reminded me that we must also leave things behind, let things go. That our bounty, our worth is also entwined deep within. Even if we feel dormant and fear we are lacking beauty there is growth and healing occuring. I will remember to take notice of our quiet and naked tree throughout the long and cold winter months. More importantly, I will learn to have more patience with myself when I am feeling stripped and unworthy. I will allow our tree to teach me her lessons. I am always changing. For even in the darkest days, there is growth and beauty waiting to be discovered.

When Life Gives You Chocolate...

'Life is like a box of choclates', the famous words from 'Forest Gump'.  Not today my friends.  This day, life is like attempting to take two rookie dogs for a walk on retractable leashes.  That's what life is like for me this morning.  A sneaker up-er.  The day began with my 'in the big leagues' six year old, fresh grade one'r, beautiful baby boy crying at the drop-off door.  This day began with heartache.  I wanted to scoop him up into my arms and sprint him all the way home.  Waving good-bye and turning away, I feel like a stranger in my own skin and I wonder what kind of monster abandons her distraught child.  Feeling like a vicious beast, my day begins.  A lame attempt to 'shake it off' and bring myself back into a 'only sending out positive vibes into the universe', prayer sending wonder woman follows.  A lovely walk on a beautiful day should mend my confused and aching heart.  One dog(new to a leash) walks calm yet apprehensive beside my heel.  Two dog, carefree and wag a few steps ahead.  Red dog, blue dog.  Life is good.  I've got this.  I am completely in control until...cat runs out of bush and darts across the street taking the troops completely by surprise.  Wagging dog breaks for it in hot pursuit.  Heeler wraps leash around ankles.  Faster...tighter...PURPLE DOGSSSS...and...we all fall down.  Life.  My life.  Ok Mr. Gump, I agree, 'You never know what you're gonna get'.  It is all in how we perceive.

When I think about a box of chocolates, I am ready to dig right in.  Completely surrendering to the element of surprise.  You see, it matters not what ooey gooey goodness explodes from the centre of this precious gift...I LOVE CHOCOLATE!  Get into my mouth and I will deal happily with the consequences.  But how does one find the deliciousness of life's unexpected dish outs whilst sitting on the side walk with a sore bottom, leash burnt ankles, barking dogs and snickering cats?  Come on!  That's funny!  Right?  YOU LAUGH.  You laugh so hard it brings tears to your eyes.  Then, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off,  untangle the mess, wipe the stream of mascara from your laugh sore cheeks, huddle your team and smile and wave.  Heck, walk that sore bottom over to a bench and eat a whole box of 'YOLO' chocolates.  Throw caution to the wind.  Take chances.  Allow yourself to do something crazy.  Get silly.  Laugh it off.  Sure, my life can be 'like a box of choclates'.  It can also be a tangled up chaotic gong show.  My life gets messy.  I trip and I fall.  I get eggshell in my omelette's and things expire in my fridge.  I am far from perfect and therefore my life is far from perfect.  But this crazed life is on lease and it happens to be the only one that I've got.  It is my precious gift. So it's messy and careless and bruised at times.  It is also yummy and funny and full of unexpected chances.  For example, there is a chance that the neighbourhood already thinks that I am crazy.  Well, they will now.